I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
