Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
this is an emotional support booty call
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
