i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
