The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just want to make out with him forever
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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