I think my vagina is haunted
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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