I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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