even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
