Dual....:-)
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
