You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
