Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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