a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
