I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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