So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
