Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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