i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
