If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
