You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
