ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
