No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
