(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
