She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
