apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
