How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
