Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
