how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
