okay pat passed out under dana's car
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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