It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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