Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
