I am in a vortex of obligation.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
