She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
