Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Hippo gnu deer
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
