@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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