Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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