She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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