Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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