she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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