Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
