I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
