I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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