"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
