he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
