i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
