Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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