It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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