He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
