Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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