there's paper in my vomit.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
