I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize
