He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
