i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
