so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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