It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
