yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i may or may not be watching the land before time
you traded sex for a burrito?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
