I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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