he told me I talked like a deaf person
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
