either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
