I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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