problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
