just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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