They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
