you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
