And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
