My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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